"Isn't it a Lovely Day... for a Walk in the Rain"

Sadly, I did not see Fred Astaire mincing, prancing and dancing along Coral Gables' Miracle Mile singing this tune yesterday. Instead, I saw a homeless man collecting rain in a cup during a serious downpour. Why was he collecting rain? Why to use it to slick back his hair a la Sonny Crockett circa 1988, naturally. Miami, even your bums are too sexy for their shirts.

Don't tase me bro

Kids touring prisons get stun-gunned; workers fired

Okay, having been responsible for organizing and overseeing "Take Your Child To Work Day" events in the past, I get where these people are coming from. But, c'mon, show some restraint.

"Drive by Fruiting"

In Miami, even the trees attack you. I didn't realize the level of risk I was taking when I chose to have the sunroof on my car open while driving to work this morning. Stopped at a red light on Coral Way, intensely focused on listening to "Candy's Room" by The Boss, I screamed like the woman I am when I suddenly felt a surprise smack on my shoulder. Some fruit from an overhanging tree fell into my car, onto my outfit and exploded into gross orange staining pulp. Ay Dios mio Miami, I get the message - you want me gone. The feeling is mutual, darling.

Grrrrr!

I envision a "Night at the Museum" scenario where all of these pelts come alive to seek revenge against their wealthy proprietor. Screw "Snakes on a Plane," I wouldn't want to be "Russian on a Boat" with an elephant, lion, python, leopard and zebra.

"The fines collected from Ruzial will pay for the animal hides to be turned into a display, which will go up at airports and international ports throughout South Florida."
"Bienvenido a Miami" over a dead pelt... charming. South Florida, how do you do it?

So he's into chicks?

I can't deal with the fact that just because one dude in Miami is actually into chicks more than dudes, children or himself, it makes national news. So, he's a priest. A minor technicality. Perhaps the best part of this story was the story on the Today Show this morning that proclaimed something to the effect of, "You may not be pronouncing his name correctly but many of those in his congregation, he's just that...a "cutie."

Can we not just let this guy get some in peace? Is a centuries old celibacy clause really relevant in today's society? Why are Latins' relationships always outed b/c they are fooling around on public beaches, ala Ricky Martin? So many questions...I just can't deal.

Another touching tribute to the heroes of 9/11... Florida-style

The whole state of Florida is auditioning for a job at Medieval Times

All these two (and mystery third person) needed was a jouster to come into the mix and they would have been set. Clearly a beer wench was already involved for them to get this plowed.